THOUGH there are numerous factors that go into the type of children we raise, ultimately our parenting style will form the basis for the kind of person they grow up to be.

Financial situations, outside influences and personal experiences will always be around to make things interesting. But if we commit to a positive parenting style and remain consistent throughout their childhood, our kids will more than likely turn out to be productive, well-balanced, socially-responsible members of society that never fall far from the tree.

Psychologists have studied parenting behavior for over 80 years now, and have been able to categorize each of us into four parenting styles.

1. Authoritarian- These parents demand respect, are firm believers in punishment to modify behavior and offer very little flexibility in their children's lives. While this style of parenting can be effective in instilling rules, research has shown some negaitve side effects including:
* A tendency to become a follower
* Low self-esteem
* Aggressive, defiant behavior
* Poor social skills
* Higher levels of depression

2. Permissive- These parents allow their children to do as they wish and shield them from the ills of the world. This style can be effective for creating friendly relationships, but can have the following side effects in children:
* A tendency to always need things their way
* A lack of self-control
* An underdeveloped thought process
* Higher likelihood to under perform at school

3. Uninvolved- These parents are often saddled with time or money constraints, are content to let technology or others command a majority of their children's lives and believe they have no right to limit their child's behavior. Negative side effects of this style include:
* Detachment
* Under developed social skills
* Aggressive behavior
* Increased likelihood of drug use

4. Authoritative- These parents see themselves as consultants and help their children understand their behavior so they can make their own decisions. They recognize the importance of raising children capable of making their own choices and encourage them to follow their own path. Research has shown this to be the most beneficial style of parenting, with side effects including:
* Increased independence and responsibility
* Higher self esteem
* More socially competent
* Better developed thought process

There are obviously exceptions, but three of the four styles lead to problems we have ourselves, don't want for our children, or worse, both. Breaking the chain of parenting style is extremely difficult, and only by looking truthfully at ourselves can we even hope to raise our children differently than we were raised.

Fortunately, parenting has begun to evolve more rapidly as parents are taking responsibility for their part in how society has degraded around us. New hybrids of parenting styles are cropping up. While some may have always been around, they have now been identified, allowing parents more defined choices in how they raise their children.

These new styles include:

1. The Nurturant Parent Model- This model believes that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore.

2. The Strict Father Model- This model places strong value on discipline as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world.

3. The Attachment Parenting Model- This model believes a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.

4. The Taking Children Seriously Model- This model believes it is possible and desirable to raise and educate children without either doing anything to them against their will, or making them do anything against their will.

5. The Parenting For Everyone Model- This model believes that kindness is the key to raising good children, whether it's the parent or not.

I will definitely be going into each of these newer styles more in the future as they are at the forefront of the fathers' rights movement and the increase of fathers wanting to play a much larger role in their children's lives.

If you are interested in seeing what type of parent you are, check out one of these quizzes:

* What's Your Parenting Style?
* Parenting Profile Questionnaire
* Parenting Style Quiz

DAD TALK

* What style of parenting do you consider yourself to be using?
* What, if any, side effects do you believe your style will have on your children?
* Which of the new styles do you think might work best in today's society?