KIDS act up at times, that's a given. Recently, my oldest daughter has been aggressive and malicious towards her mother, causing me to not only wonder why, but revisit my own childhood for similar symptoms.

One reason I kept coming back to for my own actions was that my parents more than not, told me to "do as they say, not as they do". The hypocrisy of this statement has always bothered me and I've tried to go the extra mile in not behaving this way with my own children. It's one of the reasons, I believe, that my children like spending time with me and almost always do exactly what I ask them to do without resistance.

Their mother on the other hand (I say this to illustrate a point, not to place blame) makes promises and doesn't follow through, yells at every minor distraction, spends her time unproductively and is in a major fight with at least one family member at all times. She then expects our children to not pick up on these habits and be the (near) perfect little angles they are when they are with me.

As my oldest daughter (Shawna) nears 11 years old, I can't help but see some of my childhood in her current life. When I was her age, I wanted to spend all my time with my dad because it was a far more loving environment. Going home after weekends with him, I'd cry myself to sleep. Not because I didn't love my mom and stepfather, but because the environment was not congruent with my feelings inside.

Though I disappeared from Shawna's life for several years, she spends the majority of her time with me. The rest of the time, I get phone calls and text messages about her throwing fits, defying her mothers' requests and wanting to come home. By no means am I perfect, but I believe morally, she and I are on the same page. We smile and laugh together, and when needed, I calmly explain life's ills to her. I use her behavior as a constant learning experience and I make sure I do what I tell her I'm going to do.

From experience, I can say that once your moral authority has been lost, you may never get it back. And for the sake of our children, it may be the most important thing we can ever lose in their eyes. Once it's gone, they either look inside for answers, or they find someone else that is probably in no position to answer them. It becomes a slippery slope, often leading to trouble (at least in my case).

As a father, I have committed myself to maintaining my moral authority. Sometimes, this means not doing what I want, but in the long run, it pays off by spending happy, productive time with my children.

Have you had similar experiences? Share your thoughts and let us know.