WHEN I'm out in public and see children misbehaving, I take a moment to watch how their parents react. Typically, they threaten them with a spanking or a timeout when they get home or get frustrated and yell at their children.

I've never been a fan of punishing children with these tactics, though I'll defend your right to do so. Instead, I've taken the approach of taking the things they seem to care about most away (which constantly changes) and explain to them how their actions led to this decision.

At home, I rarely have to resort to this tactic as my children and I seem to have a mutual respect for each other, but every now and then I have to remove their video game, bike riding or playtime privileges. I'm also a proponent of making each additional punishment longer.

In public, I usually offer my children a snack or time at the playground after my errands are finished. Usually this is enough to keep them well-behaved, but every now and then they don't heed my calm warnings and I have to tell them they aren't getting their reward. The rare occassion this results in more misbehavior, I'll tack on an extra loss for when we get home.

I'll admit this isn't the perfect answer, but it does closely mirror how our society works, and ultimately, raising children that can be productive within our society's rules is our goal. It's also important for me to let them know that their own actions were the reason and not that Daddy was mad at them. Remaining calm and in control is key, as once your children learn how to control your reactions, the behavior battle only gets harder.

Over time, my children have learned that their dad is a reasonable person that wants them to enjoy their lives and that in the end, their actions are what get them the things they want or not. Because they know they will never be punished unfairly and that they are the masters of their own fate, I have children that invariably do anything I ask them the first time.

How do you handle these situations? If you have some behavioral tips you'd like to share, please comment below.