THE second tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to teach your kids self-esteem. If we fail in this effort, our children are going to make bad decisions for a large majority of their life or at the very least, not have the guts to take the chances that will lead to happiness.

The best way to teach this invaluable trait is to show them how important they are to you. Spend your time with them, even if you have something more "important" to do. Talk to them and more importantly, listen to them. Have high self-esteem yourself. Encourage them to strive for more and if they fail, praise them for the effort.

I was typically reprimanded for doing anything that wasn't part of the military regiment my brother and I called childhood, and as a result, I spent most of my time at school. In fact, I never missed a single day of school until my senior year in high school. I excelled educationally, but I truly lacked any semblance of self-esteem.

It took years of failing myself before I finally gained the courage to do things on my own. In the meantime, I had left my daughter behind, gotten into legal trouble and went through a string of ultimately failed relationships with women. I'd hit bottom several times before it hurt enough to take matters into my own hands.

I think we all have a high self-esteem, but when it isn't adequately fed, we lose touch with it. Praise your children, support their efforts and don't let them lose touch with their self-esteem.

DAD TALK

* How has your self-esteem helped or hurt your relationships in life?
* Do you believe your parents were a major part of your having or lacking high self-esteem?
* What do you do to teach your children to have high self-esteem?