Today’s fathers are faced with a multitude of roadblocks. Not only is married life harder and harder to maintain thanks to ultra-busy lifestyles and temptation at every corner, we are knocked for our position whether we are active in our child’s life or not.

Spend too much time and you are neglecting your job, or worse the mother. Spend too little time and you are neglecting your child. What’s a father to do these days?

For me the answer was quitting my job and following my dreams, and while I think we are all capable of doing that, it’s not realistic right now for all fathers. But I know deep down, we either want to spend all our time with our kids or we work our butts off so they can have a good life. I’m here to tell you that you can do both.

Being a dad ultimately comes down to setting priorities. Once you do that, you’ll find a way to make them happen. If your own life wasn’t motivation enough to chase your dreams, having children must be. Set your goals high. Believe in yourself. Believe things will work out for the good and that the more you believe, the more it will be.

I’m not going to lie. I have my down times. But I know those down times are for my benefit and that there is a lesson to be learned in that down time. That down time will turn into a benefit if I allow it.

You are special. More special than me. More special than your parents. More special than your children even. But it’s up to you to make that true. When you become the person you were meant to be, you will enable all the other people in your life to be closer to who they are meant to be. But it’s up to them to make it so. The best thing you can do in life is to fulfill yourself and not be a hindrance on those you love. It’s harsh, but it’s true.

By living up to your potential, you give others, and most importantly, those that love you, something to look up to. Something to believe in. Something to admire. That’s what we are lacking in life. What’s left to admire. For me, not much.

People look up to me. I’m not completely certain why. But I have a good idea. They look up to me because I refuse to get hurt, instead knowing that I’m doing the right thing and it will work out exactly as I see it. They look up to me because I’m not afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve, even when the old me would have wilted under the pressure. They look up to me because I give them a reason to care for themselves, even when they don’t feel like they deserve it.

The only reason I have this “ability” is because I went through it, alone and scared, with no one to look up to, or even down on me for that sake. But every once in awhile, like iron, you go through the fire and something new is tempered. It’s up to you to decide what that is. You can wilt under the heat. Or you can create something strong, something powerful.

It’s up to you. There are only two questions. Which would you rather be? And how much can you put up with on the way to getting there? If your answers are powerful and as much as it takes, then you are guaranteed to win. If they aren’t, you aren’t guaranteed to lose. Simple as that.

Thank you for signing up for the Dadviser newsletter. Each one will hopefully be more informative and useful than the last. This one is just a hello to let you know who I am and how highly I think of you. Now it’s your turn to think just as highly of yourself. The higher you believe, the better I will be, the better you will be and the better your child will be.

Thanks for subscribing,

Aaron Emerson