Aaron's blog
Time > Money
IT sickens me that it's been over two month's since I have posted here at Dadviser. I apologize profusely, but I hope you can understand how the life of a stay-at-home-dad can be let's say, unpredictable.
I'm not going to fill this space with complaining about life, only to let those that aren't already believers know that time is not money, it is far more valuable than money. Every day, my project lists get longer and longer and I enjoy all the work I do so much I can't help but take it on, but at some point it gets overwhelming and leaves me with little time to do some of the things I love like write on this blog.
If you've hung with me through all this, again thank you. Please know there are some great new segments that I have planned to start launching very soon, as well as a couple of book reviews I have secured with some great authors. Then there are the many questions I have received from fathers all over that deserve my attention. I'm also going to spend more time trying to get the parenting blog community more involved with each other, so stay tuned for that.
In the meantime, check out this fantastic collection of daddy blogs across the Internet over at The Bootstrapper Blog. I know I haven't been the best blogger lately, so check out some of the other great blogs across this niche.
Be back soon, promise!
DAD TALK
* Besides not posting for two months, how else can I improve the site for you?
* Are there any special areas of interest you would like me to cover?
* Do you think this site should focus more on positive fathering as a whole or focus on single and separated fathers only?
Copyright © 2007 by Dadviser All rights reserved.
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The Trials Of Life
SEPTEMBER has been a roller coaster, to say the least.
When the month started, I hadn't seen two of my daughters for weeks as their mother found herself in some trouble and checked herself and our children, without my consent, into a woman's shelter. Legally hamstrung, I devoted all my time into my business and saw some exciting growth.
A couple weeks later, busier than I've ever been in my life, the mother found her way into some trouble, landed in jail, signed over her rights to our kids to her mother and without her parental alienation campaign at full strength, I've been spending considerably more quality time with my kids. Then over this past weekend, I was in an accident and fractured my left humerus and dislocated my arm, severely limiting the time I can spend blogging or even performing my business duties.
I've been resting non-stop for the past few days and have had some time to reflect on all that's happened and my only regret right now is not being able to blog. Sometime over the last year, I became addicted, focused on publishing as much free, quality information as possible for fathers. Some of you have been invaluable supporters in this mission, and it is you I thank most and feel most indebted to.
I've decided to finish the current Personal Development series over two months instead of one or scrapping it altogether due to the fact it won't be completed this month. I'm slowly regaining some motion in my arm and when possible, I'll be writing new articles and brainstorming ways to make Dadviser even better for the end of the year.
Until then, I hope to see you all continue to make your lives better, so stop by now and then to let me know how things are going.
DAD TALK
* Have you ever been disabled?
* How did it make you think differently about your life?
* Have you experienced parental alienation?
* How did you respond and what would you do different next time?
Copyright © 2007 by Dadviser All rights reserved.
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Personal Development For Dads Challenge #5 - Volunteer
ONE of the best ways I've ever found to help myself grown is to give more of myself to others. There's just something about watching others grow from the time and care you have put into them.
One of the truly special gifts of being a parent is having a child you can teach your skills to and one day watch them do all we can do even better. Even with children, it's an amazing experience to help others out with your free time and not much else will ever make you feel better about yourself. Below are ten ways you can volunteer even if you already have a busy family and career.
1. Your children's school- A great way to volunteer and spend more time with your children at the same time is to volunteer in their classrooms or at their school.
2. Homeless shelters- Homeless shelters need as many extra hands as they can get. It doesn't take more than a couple of hours each night you can to help feed dozens to hundreds of homeless. Read the 35 ways to help the homeless for more ideas on helping the less unfortunate in your town.
3. Park Maintenance- Our parks are some of the last open places some of us have. Keeping them beautiful and safe for our children needs to be a high priority. Volunteer a few hours a week or month and help clean up your area parks.
4. Read at the library- Your child may be a terrific reader, but they were lucky you took the time to teach them one of the most important skills a person could ever have. Take your children to the library during volunteer reading hours and help some children learn about the wonders of reading.
5. Mentoring- Big Brothers & Sisters is a fantastic organization that helps children without fathers, mothers or older siblings learn about the world in a responsible, loving way. I've personally been a Big Brother and can't describe how good it feels to be a mentor in this program.
6. Animal support- Local animal shelters and humane societies are notoriously shorthanded and can use all the help they can get in tagging, feeding, grooming and nurturing animals. Check out these 80 tips to help animals for more ideas.
7. Senior homes- Senior homes can use some extra help in entertaining their residents and serving food. Play games with some elderly folks and let them tell you of times past. Not only will you be doing a good deed, you are bound to learn some very important lessons.
8. Blood banks- One of the fastest ways to volunteer your time is to go give blood. Blood is the most precious resource we have in our communities and helps save more lives than any other volunteering action. Visit Give Life for more information.
9. 800 Number Volunteers- We often take 800 and disaster relief numbers for granted. They must be manned at all hours of the day, and in the event of a disaster, will likely need more volunteers than the organization has on hand. Give some spare time to a 800 phone bank in your area and you just may save a life.
10. Politics- With the political season in full swing, there are many opportunities for you to give some of your time to help gather signatures, pass out fliers and buttons and get the word out about the politician you support.">
No matter how busy you are, there is something on this list that you can give two hours or less of your time. It may seem difficult to fit in, but once you see how good you feel afterwards, I'm sure you will find more time in your schedule to volunteer to needy organizations in your area. For more ways to volunteer, check out Volunteer Match and Volunteer Solutions.
DAD TALK
* Did your parents do any volunteering when you were growing up?
* Do you find time to volunteer in your community?
* If you've thought of volunteering, but haven't, what can you do to find a few hours a week or month to volunteer?
Copyright © 2007 by Dadviser All rights reserved.
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Personal Development For Dads Challenge #4 - Live In The Moment
SOMETHING I have noticed as being a major hurdle for many people to overcome is the ability to stop dwelling on the problems of their past or looking to the future for their happiness. Your happiness can only be found in one place, within you, and at one time, at the intersection of just happened and about to happen.
I've been guilty of dwelling on the past and the future at different times of my life. Much of my life I spent being a "perfectionist" and wondering how I could have done things in my life better. The simple answer to that question is nothing, but for years I went over certain things over and over to the point I stopped enjoying the things that were currently in my life.
When I saw the error of my ways, I began to be a much more creative and loving individual, but as I surrounded my life with new projects and ambitions, it became hard not to dwell on the good times the future could bring if I could just follow through on my goals. Sadly, this wasn't the happiness I was after either.
It was not until I fully had my children back in my life that balance began to take shape in my life. My goals had purpose and relation, not to bring happiness into my life because I had already achieved it, but to just be the most complete person that I could be and see where it took me. No longer was the past or the promises of the future what occupied my thoughts.
Being able to "dwell" on the here and now is what I strive to make my life about now. Below are some great ideas for you to use to achieve the same mind state and start enjoying life from this moment forward.
1. Be thankful- Showing gratitude for the little things in your life is a good first step towards living life in the moment. Be thankful that you woke up this morning, that your children are healthy and that you have the potential to improve areas of your life you are unhappy with. Being thankful will also help you raise thankful children.
2. Forgive your past- Humans love to dwell on their pasts as if they had any power of changing it. We don't, so get over it. Chances are the things you dwell on weren't even your fault, but even if they were, you need to forgive yourself and move on. You aren't your past, no matter how often people try to define you as if you are.
3. Tie up loose ends- One thing that holds us back from moving forward is allowing loose ends that keep us looking backwards. Tie up those loose ends and move on with confidence knowing you don't have to go back to those places again.
4. Believe you have enough now- There's nothing wrong with planning for the future and building a better life for your family. The problem lies in not knowing when enough is enough and that you have all the things you need right now to be happy.
5. Check yourself- You need to learn to be aware of your own thoughts. Once you are aware of your thoughts, you become free to change them at will. When you find yourself dwelling, stop and tell yourself that you don't dwell anymore, and find something in your presence to enjoy for a moment.
6. Stop procrastinating- Like loose ends that tie you to your past, procrastination ties you to your future. When you don't get the things you know you need to get done finished, they nag on your conscience and keep you from enjoying your present. Shorten your to-do lists so they are manageable or stop procrastinating and complete your daily tasks. Only then will you feel free to enjoy your time.
7. Live life to the fullest- Granted, living each day like it's your last is a difficult mind frame to have and neglects any planning for the future. But by doing the things every day that you enjoy most and knowing that tomorrow doesn't matter until tomorrow, you will be living life to its fullest.
8. Evaluate your priorities- When you reevaluate your priorities and understand what is actually most important to you and your happiness, it gets a whole lot easier to find the time to spend on those things. Set your priorities and forget the other stuff.
9. Don't take life too seriously- In life, there is death, taxes, war, famine and hatred. But there doesn't have to be in your life. Enjoy your life, do good deeds even when you don't have to and know that for every good in life, there may be a bad, but it doesn't have to affect you negatively.
10. Let go- So many things in life are out of your control. Stop trying to make it otherwise. Some things in life you just need to let go of, including how people behave at home or work. The only thing you have control over is how you react to the things that happen in your life. Master that and Enjoy your life.
It will take some time, but by practicing the ideas outlined in this article, you can learn to let go of the past, be optimistic of the future without dwelling on it, and enjoy the little moments of your life. Once you have made these ideas a part of who you are, you'll see that every moment is a little moment of your life that should be enjoyed.
DAD TALK
* Do you take the time to appreciate every single day of your life?
* Do you spend more time dwelling on the future, the past or in the moment?
* What things can you do in your life to start appreciating the now more than the past or future?
Copyright © 2007 by Dadviser All rights reserved.
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Personal Development For Dads Challenge #3 - Exercise
STAYING in shape is probably near the top of most of our to-do-lists yet never gets crossed off for most of us. Many people don't start their exercise and/or dieting regimen because they don't feel good about themselves and lack motivation, though ironically, getting in shape is just the thing to improve their self-esteem.
The benefits of getting and staying in shape are profound. Besides increased self-esteem, exercising increases your libido, your stamina and most importantly, your lifespan. On paper, exercising sounds like the Fountain of Youth, but to our minds, it sounds more like a root canal.
If you are serious about living a long, happy life, then starting and maintaining your exercise regimen is the most important decision you can make. Stop procrastinating. To help you get started, try out some of the fun, free exercise ideas below as soon as possible.
1. Walk- Walking is a free activity with huge health benefits and if you plan your routes, can actually be quite entertaining. Go to your local Chamber of Commerce or information center and pick up maps to routes and historical properties in your area. You can also walk to establishments you frequent on a regular basis and kill two birds with one stone.
2. Join a Team- Are you interested in a certain sport? Been wanting to meet new people? Joining a local recreational sports team is a great way to get in shape without the stigma that you are actually working out. Sports are fun and allow you the opportunity to meet new people that have at least one thing in common with you - an interest in the same sport. You should find ads for free groups in the newspaper or on Craigslist.
3. Ride Bikes With Your Kids- Of the ideas listed here, riding bikes with my kids is by far my favorite form of exercise. Choose a route that will be strenuous enough to be beneficial, but not so difficult your kids cannot complete it under their own power. The added benefits of this idea are that you can teach your children the importance of exercising and you can spend the time bonding.
4. Swim- Swimming is another great exercise idea you can do alone or with your kids. It's also known to be one of the most beneficial forms of exercise as it involves all your muscles. Check out this directory of swim exercises for workouts according to experience level.
5. Hike- Hiking is one of the fastest growing hobbies in the U.S. as American look for more adventurous forms of exercise. Most cities have hiking trails for all skill levels that let you see your town from a different perspective. Find trails in your area at StepWhere and LocalHikes.
6. Stretch- Stretching reduces muscle tension and increases range of motion, blood circulation and energy level. It's also important to stretch from a young age and is a good tool to teach your children. Try some of these stretching exercises for better flexibility and injury prevention.
7. Tai-Chi- Sometimes describes as "meditation in motion", Tai-Chi is a terrific form of passive exercise that helps balance body and mind. Its benefits include stress reduction, greater balance and increased flexibility. Check local bulletin boards and publications for groups or set your own hours at home. Visit this site for loads of Tai-Chi exercises and information.
8. Yoga- It is just as important to keep your mind in shape as it is to keep your body in shape. Yoga does both. It will not help if you are looking to increase strength or muscle mass, but it will help you increase range of motion, injury prevention and blood circulation. There are hundreds of techniques, so you should be able to find some you enjoy.
9. Gym Exercises- You don't have to join a gym to get some of the gym's best benefits. Whether you are looking to build muscle or stamina, there are several ideas you can do right at home. Check out these ideas and statistics for a good starting point.
10. Park Games- Your local park is a fun place to plan games with your kids. Tag, pickle, Frisbee, kickball and catch are always as close as your neighborhood park. Keep up with your kids for the best workout!
Try out as many of these ideas as you need until you find one you can enjoy doing on a regular basis. The important thing is to find exercise activities that you will like doing over a period of time because all exercises require time and repetition before they show any substantial rewards. Enjoy working out now and enjoy the benefits later.
DAD TALK
* Was your family into physical fitness when you were growing up?
* How has that affected your current exercise schedule?
* Have any other exercies ideas you can do with your children?
Copyright © 2007 by Dadviser All rights reserved.
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