AFTER reading this excellent Boston Globe article about the lives of several single fathers, it got me thinking about all the things we have to do to become good single fathers.

Becoming a single father requires a massive rearranging of your life and the learning of a whole new set of skills. Indeed, my life as a single father resembles my former life in very few ways, but despite the amount of effort needed, I have become a more rounded and happier individual.

While this transformation is good, it's not without obstacles. Once you gain custody of your children, you can expect life to become more difficult, but it will also be much more rewarding if you learn these five keys to being a good single father:

1. Put In The Time- Becoming a single dad will automatically take up any free time you used to have. Perhaps the most important thing you can do as a single father is spend ample time with your children. Without mom around, the kids will be looking to you for guidance, support, love, entertainment and just about anything else you can think of. Free time or not, you must find a way to spend enough time with your children so that they continue to look to you for these needs and not someone else.

2. Change Your Career- One way to free up time for your children is to change your career. This is obviously not an option for every father, but if your job is keeping you from spending quality time with your children, it needs to be. The pressure of wanting to be the best dad you can be can actually be the inspiration you need to create new opportunities.

3. Don't Listen To Society- Though single fathers are gaining status, there are still naysayers who do not agree children should spend full time with their fathers, especially if those children are girls. Doctors, teachers and other professionals in your child's life may scrutinize your parenting style or ability to meet all your children's needs. Continue being a hero to your children and don't listen to them.

4. Learn To Cook- Most men I know have very limited cooking skills, but single fathers do not have this luxury. Children need not only a balanced diet, but should also enjoy a wide variety of foods. They are also very picky. Single fathers must learn to cook if they want to enjoy the benefits of having happy children around the dinner table.

5. Make Sacrifices- Single fathers must also make numerous sacrifices, from giving up time with friends to spend with their children instead, to not dating until their children are a little older or they have had time to adjust to their new lifestyles. In short, being a single father is almost about how many sacrifices you can make and still enjoy being a single father.

As a single father, I have learned to be a better cook, a better listener (and non-listener to the naysayers), a better worker and dare I say, a better person. I have learned to create more time through better management and more career opportunities through a need to learn constantly so that I can support my family and I while working from home.

Most importantly, I have learned that the sacrifices are worth it and that there is no better job than being a good single dad, the person your children come to for love and advice.

DAD TALK

* What do you think are the most important things to becoming a good single father?
* What sacrifices have you had to make in your time as a single father?
* What are the best rewards from being a single father?